Put the Willies Up an Escort

Sometimes a regular night out at a club doesn’t quite cut it, so how about treating one of our lovely Escorts to a West End show? I know, I know, the thought of having to sit through Legally Blonde isn’t exactly our idea of fun either so we’ve looked through the listings, asked some of the Escorts themselves, and come to the conclusion that there’s only really one show you’d both really want to see.

Ghost Stories at the Duke of York is next to the legendary Chandos, a Samuel Smiths pub selling ales, lager and cider from its north Yorkshire brewery. Not only is the cider legendary, but the prices are incredibly good and the atmosphere is perfect for a cosy chat before you head across the road to the perfect date show out there at the moment.

You know when you were 15, and taking a girl to see a scary movie was the best way of cuddling up to each other, shaking with fear? Well this is the exact effect Ghost Stories will have. Co-written and directed by The League of Gentlemen’s Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman, ignore the mixed reviews and settle down to 90 minutes of date magic.

For a London Escort like Roberta who hails all the way from Bulgaria, the prospect of seeing a show like this is incredibly exciting regardless of the slightly naff shocks and OTT build-up. In saying that, there are definitely a few moments you might want to brace yourself for, but if you do end up screaming like a girl, she’ll be screaming so hard nobody’ll notice. And you can always laugh it off… that’ll definitely break the ice between you and Roberta who, above all else, refuses to take life too seriously!

It’s not all hokey dummies and “scary” sound effects though- the end sequence should be enough to make it worth the £25 ticket price. Obviously we won’t give it away, but it does contain a truly fantastic illusion sequence… Andy Nyman, the protagonist, writer and director, works regularly with Derren Brown and it certainly shows.

The best thing about seeing a show like this, apart from the fact she’ll be snuggled into you, cowering with fear and in need of comforting, it will definitely give you a whole host of conversation topics for the subsequent hour if you’re stuck for things to say to someone as beautiful as Roberta. And, added bonus, you’ll be both a man of culture and a man with the hottest date in the theatre, which is important when you think you’ll be watching one bloke telling stories about a load of other blokes. It’s nto exactly a burlesque, but that final sequence should leave you both more than a little breathless and, more importantly, in the mood for some more drinks.

The Chandos for a pint of north Yorkshires finest with a beautiful London Escort after spending ninety minutes with her head on your shoulder? Whatever order you choose to do it, you’re onto a winner.


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