How To Maintain You’re Dignity

I managed to trip over my own feet on the way to work at the London escort offices this morning. I’m not quite sure how it happened – I think maybe sometimes I forget to keep my feet a decent distance apart when I move them – but it’s happened quite a few times before and was obviously quite embarrassing. Luckily it only caused a bit of a stumble and there was hardly anyone around to see it, so I was able to continue relatively unscathed.

London is a bit of a minefield really, and there have been plenty of times when I’ve come a cropper in much more dramatic and embarrassing styles. Particularly unpleasant was the time I was walking down an icy slope into the Underground (at Regent’s Park?). My trainers had zero grip and I ended up ice skating past commuters for about eight feet before landing flat on my arse. Most undignified.

Another time, I was going down into a station via a crowded escalator, and there was someone a few steps down from me that I just knew was going to struggle with their huge suitcase once at the bottom. I tried to retreat a few steps back up the escalator but it was just too packed. My fears were realised when the woman did indeed fail to move her luggage in time, causing the next people up to topple onto her, so they were all on the floor in a compact heap. There was nothing I could do, no room for manoeuvre, so with a heavy heart I joined the pile up like a helpless domino and immediately felt others land on top of me. Somehow I managed to wriggle out of the side of the pile, crawl a little way and then regain my feet. I looked back – the pile was still building behind me, so I hurried on before chaos took hold.

There have been many other times I have suffered the embarrassment caused by failing to properly negotiate the many assault courses of our city – tripping on steps, sliding over at road crossings, almost getting run over. When I was little I got my head stuck in some railings near Buckingham Palace, so the sore memories go back a long way.

I find it quite bewildering that escort girls always manage to look so poised and dignified – never ruffled by the weather, or limping because she misjudged the steps etc. Ok so I know it’s not like I see them generally when they’re out and about on their dates, but I would be extremely surprised if blonde escorts in London or busty escorts in London found themselves embroiled in the kind of calamities that I regularly find myself in. I rarely return home looking as composed and tidy as I did before leaving the house, yet London escorts always manage to look so beautiful and elegant, even when coping with awkward little dresses and high heels.

Maybe they could teach seminars or something for us ordinary accident-prone folk!

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