Escorting is the New Dating

This weekend I decided once again to give online dating another go. I’ve harped on before about how I tried it once but found it eminently frustrating and full of ‘game players’. However, having had a suitable period of recovery from the first bout, I decided to go in for round two this time on a different website and with a slightly different approach.! Last time I felt that maybe my profile, in an attempt to amuse, might have come across as a bit contrived. So, no bells and whistles, just me. I’ve only been a member for two days and have been flattered to have collected 40 ‘fans’ although I don’t actually know if this is a good number or not. Maybe most people have about 200 after 2 days (I bet the sexy London escorts would!)

Anyway, despite the drawbacks of online dating as previously discussed, such as people being dishonest, suddenly vanishing or saying very disturbing things, I’d forgotten how much fun it is to just peruse profiles, laughing and mocking accordingly. As with the other site there are plenty of folk that seem to churn out the same old clichés, the favourites being ‘I’m looking for a partner in crime’, ‘I like all the usual things’ (Aaaggghhh – so you’re proud of being exactly the same as everyone else?!), ‘I’m not your average guy’ (Oh yes you are), and ‘I’m a great cook’ (Hey buddy, EVERYONE can do pasta with cheese on it). Then there’s the usual suite of arseholes, who stipulate that their girlfriend must ‘Have a French manicure at all times’, or ‘Be at least a C cup’. Perhaps they should stick to dating London escorts if they can’t cope with anything less than perfection!

One profile stood out amongst the others, for it’s totally embittered tone and humour. The guy looked nice enough, but said things like ‘Looking for a total **** who will spend the early part of our relationship whining and being angry with me for not being what they expected, and later simply exude a cool hostility. Would be nice to have some great conversation that will not later be used against me in court.’ I like to think he was just being wry, but this tone continued throughout his whole profile, with no clear sign that he was joking. After this absorbing read, I accepted, sadly, that perhaps some people need to stay well away from relationships, at least for a few years until the bitterness starts to recede!

I honestly think that people this sceptical about the possibility of loving relationships just need to relax and enjoy the simpler side of things, for example by dating a busty escort in London. You can guarantee that with this beauty there will be no whining, and no opportunities for later recriminations! Just fun early dates and uncomplicated intimacy. Blonde escorts in London know just how to make angry guys forget their past hurts and grievances. In fact I’d like to tell the guy on the website that exact thing, but don’t want to anger him!

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